The purpose of this game is to replicate the feel of early MSPA comics, such as Jailbreak or Problem Sleuth. It could possibly be used to play Homestuck, but that is a less frantic and more cohesive comic because Andrew Hussie straight-up said something along the lines of "I'm only going to use reader input if it brings about lulz."
As such, the mechanics of this game replicate the crazier (and MORE FUN) sides of the game, such as the stream of conscious reader input and trolling thereof. The game has mechanics that allow players to just insert their own random asides into the story and become/control certain NPCs at their whim. It plays a bit like Paranoia and encourages the same antagonistic style of Game Mastery when running: Don't look at players as "the enemy," look at them as puppets who dance for your amusement.
When running, be sure to release your inner Andrew Hussie and just troll the fuck out of the plot, eventually working in all the bullshit the players have added thus far and coming to an awesome resolution.
- 1 Character Sheet
- 2 Explanation of Terms / Character Generation
- 3 Complete Bullshit
- 4 Mechanics
- 5 Sample Character: Danger Guy
Name: Age: Height: Weight:
All of these things just give some determiners for your character. You know, the roleplaying stuff? The IMPORTANT stuff?
Explanation of Terms / Character Generation
Vim is your brute strength, raw athletics, and all that jazz.
- Affect is your skill with athletic pursuits
- Abide is your ability to withstand physical issues and not even give a fuck
- Aggress is used to just go up and punch or shoot or whatever someone right in the groin (or face, whichever).
Pulchritude, on the other hand, is used to do all your talky talky stuff.
- You roll Appeal to charm someone or otherwise make them like you. Negotiation and stuff, you know?
- Conversely, you roll Aggrieve to just straight up call someone out in a way that just makes them all hurty hurt on the inside.
- Assuage is used for lying, deceiving, or pulling underhanded bullshit in general.
Imagination determines the strength of your brains. Low imagination? Stupid-head. High imagination? Smarty-pants.
- Audit is your general perception skill.
- Abate is how educated you are. You can be super smart but also poorly educated, after all.
- Author is used for dealing with stupid puzzle shit, be it solving or creating it. It could also be used for painting and shit, too, but who cares about that. (I do).
You start with 15 points to spend on skills (which all start at 1, prior to spending points on them) and 7 points to spend on stats (again, starting at 1 before spending the points).
The below bullshitometers are determined by the amount of raw points you have in your stats. Once you spend them, they’re gone. You can earn them back somehow, but that usually entails drawing the shit from the ass of the veritable bull yourself, rather than cheesing your way through it. You cheesing cheeser.
Vim: Break the Fourth Wall
The short version is that this is your allowance to meta-game. You just get this feeling that you should be doing something. You can just spend a point to do that.
Pulchritude: Influence the Plot
In terms of complete bullshit, this is the most bullshit. Is there a thing you want in that chest? Is there a person walking up to the door and you don’t know who but you really got a hunch? Spend a point of this to alter a description, plot point, or what have you that hasn’t already been canonically established.
Imagination: Be the Other Guy
There’s another guy. You’re now him. Fill out the Other Guy’s stats real quick and prepare to play him. His skills are determined by his threat level. See mechanics for that.
The Dice: d6s
So okay, this is how it works. You got a bunch of d6s, some stats, and some skills. Whenever you make a roll, you’re going to roll a number of d6s equal to your skill. Obviously, you at least have 1 in each skill. What you’re trying to do is hit a target number set by your stat, or below. So if you’ve got 5 in Vim and 3 in Affect, and you’re trying to climb a building, you’re going to roll 3d6, trying to hit 5 or below. You then report how many times you’ve succeeded. Ie, “three successes” if all three are 5 or below, two successes if only two of them are 5 or below, and etc.
Critical Failure and Wacky Success
So now you know how this dice bullshit works. What if no single die you rolled succeeded? Well that just sucks, bro. You critically failed. Something wacky happens instead, and it doesn’t leave you in a good place. But, conversely, if you succeed and there are more 6s than successes, you succeed but in a completely stupid way. Report it as Wacky. Your success seems either accidental or outright comical.
If you roll a 1 on any die, count it as a success and roll another d6. You just keep doing that until you stop rolling 1’s.
So, like, you roll all these dice and report all your successes. All the successes. Big whoop, right? Well yeah, kind of. Depending on how complex the act is, you need more successes to actually pull it off. That’s how all this DC stuff works. If you’re working as a team to do something, count everyone’s successes.
- Simple: 1
Trying to get from point A to point B in a timely manner, when there aren’t too many obstacles, just some distance. Lifting an object that isn’t that heavy. Figuring out a children’s maze. Things like that.
- Complex: 2
There are now obstacles. Like rough terrain or something. The object is now heavier. The maze is now bigger.
- Difficult: 3
Okay so this might take some time and effort. Whatever this is, it’s outright hard to do it on your own. You still can, but goddamn this boulder is hard to walk with.
- Implausible: 4
Get some friends, you can’t pick up this boulder alone.
- Impossible: 5
Even with a little help from your friends, this task is difficult.
- Horseshit: 6
Why did you even try to do this? Was it worth the effort? Was it worth all the strain you put everyone through?
- Bullshit: 8
How the fuck did you do that, that isn’t even possible.
Damage is determined via successes. How many successes you get is how much damage you did. You can use Aggress, Aggrieve, or Create to damage someone. Aggress to just punch the hell out of them, Aggrieve to talk so much smack they don’t want any of this, or Create to go all Home Alone on their shit.
You can also defend instead of attack, which means you roll Abide, Appeal, or Abate. Rolling Abide implies that whatever stupid shit they’re trying to do just ain’t even worth a damn. Appeal implies that you are proposing a counter-point to their argument which really just makes you look a lot better than what they claimed. Abate implies that whatever crazy shit they just did, you saw, and you knew better than to stand in the way of the falling iron.
Damage is dealt to your actual stats, and bleeds up if zero’d out. So if you are hit with all the Aggrieve and man you can’t argue this anymore, but they keep on Aggrieveing you, they start convincing you to put down your dukes. Same applies to Aggressing and Creating. If everything zeroes out, you die
If Vim is 0, you are in a state of bad health or an unwillingness to fight.
If Pulchritude is 0, you are speechless or just convinced that you cannot do this thing you wanted to do.
If Imagination is 0, you just can’t think anymore; your head hurts way too much from all the punching, crazy puzzle shit, or other shenanigans.
You can also try to Aggrieve someone’s Vim or Create against someone’s Pulchritude. Just subtract 1d6 from your dice pool.
You can do this once per conflict. This entails rolling Affect to be so masculine that you can get by, Assuage to convince yourself that you’re fine, or Audit to look for and fix up your abrasions. If you’re trying to do this to someone else, subtract 1d. The amount of successes that you get is the amount of dice you heal back, starting first on the stat related to the skill, and “bleeding up” from there.
This is not a vast and empty expanse. There are Other Guys. You will probably meet them. Other Guys are simplified compared to Your Guys. Your Guys have all these stats and skills and stuff. Other Guys just have the three stats and flat dice pools. Their dice pools are determined by their threat levels. They can be threat level 1 to threat level 6. At 1, they throw 1d6 for everything. At 6, they throw 6d6 for everything. To put it into perspective, TL1 is a puppy dog, Your Guys are TL3, and the Big Bad is TL6.
Sample Character: Danger Guy
Name: Danger Guy Age: 20 Height: 6' Weight: 200lbs
Short Bio: This guy is fucking awesome. And dangerous.
- Vim: Break the Fourth Wall: 4/4
- Pulchritude: Influence the Plot: 4/4
- Imagination: Be the Other Guy: 2/2
- TWEED JACKET x1
- WALLET x1
- INCOME x20